Find the courage to face your fears and feel fulfilled again!
Love it or loathe it ... Halloween is on it's way ... The evenings are starting to draw in and the ghoulish pumpkins and decorations to appear in shop windows and on doorsteps ... Love it or Loathe it, it's not long now before you head out the door trick or treating with your already excitable kids seeking out the sugar or you switch your lights out until the event has passed.
Fear is a powerful emotion triggered by external stimuli when we are or perceive ourselves to be at risk of physical, emotional or psychological harm. In the old days, it was the saber-toothed tiger which induced the fight or flight response. Today, our stress levels can be impacted by a whole host of things from phobias to the intrusive use of technology and social media.
It's not about getting rid of fear per se but learning to manage it so that it doesn't own you and your story.
All sorts of fears may be lurking beneath the surface:
Fear of failure - What if this doesn’t work out?
Fear of uncertainty - I don’t know what I truly want for myself.
Fear of not being good enough - I question my skills and compare myself to others
Fear of looking bad - What will other people think of me?
And one which is often missed:
Fear of success - what happens if I achieve what I set out to do - will I be able to sustain it or actually will I suffer because of it?
So here are some techniques to overcome your fears when you worry that things are going bump in the day or night:
Where are you fearful of? Know your triggers - keep a diary noting what happens and when. Get under the skin of your fear so you understand what it is exactly that is causing this emotion rather than being too generic.
What other emotions is this bringing up for you? It is helpful to name these emotions so you can address and learn to manage them.
How is this holding you back? What are you not doing as a result of fear and how is this blocking what you want to be, do and have?
What would you do if you weren't fearful? Enjoy this sense of freedom and make a note of all the options that would move you one step closer to your goal and then commit to the one that would make the biggest difference.
What is the likelihood of your fear happening in real life? Rate this on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being it's guaranteed.
What would the severity of it be if it did happen? Use a scale of 1-10 where 10 is life-threatening. This may just be lower than you think and help you to avoid catastrophising.
What can you do pre-emptively to mitigate the chances of your worst fears actually happening and to address them if they do? If you are able to and continually avoid the trigger, you are instead accommodating this anxiety and not allowing yourself the opportunity to manage it. Instead recognise that some things are out of your control but what you can do is choose how you are going to respond to them. List some really tangible, small steps you could take were it to happen so that you can regain a sense of control.
How will you be feeling when you plough through this fear and JFDI anyway (Just F**king Do It Anyway)? Imagine you have actually achieved what you wanted for yourself. What are you feeling and saying to yourself? Lean in to this visualisation and energy.
A shift in perspective can help you to see what you want and not what you fear prompting you to take action towards and not away from your goal. So what is it that you want and what can you do to come out from the shadows and into the light to really make it happen for you?
If you want to shift your focus away from potential danger to possibility and fearlessly go after what you want, then get in touch to book your FREE 30 minute clarity call today.